Monday news digest

Don't you just love it when one group of obscenely rich people sues another group of obscenely rich people in hopes of vaulting both sets of attorneys into their clients' income brackets? If so, you'll love reading about the Red Hot Chili Peppers suing Showtime. Sample wiseguy comment: “Now, if only the Scottish could sue Anthony Kiedis over the kilt thing.”

Longtime Mississippi Senator and “Thurmond For President” bumper-sticker purchaser Trent Lott is retiring to “pursue other opportunities.” I don’t remember seeing any openings for Grand Wizard advertised in the local classifieds, but maybe he meant other “other opportunities.” In any case, don’t let the door hit you etc.

Pakistan continues to simmer, and if you don’t think this matters, you’re not paying attention.

The writers’ strike also continues, but if you're jonesing for an emergency fix of late night talk show monologuery, try this.