The new national security threat: global warming

Here's a conundrum for the handful of far-right flat-earthers who are still trying to deny the existence and/or significance of global warming. What to do when that most rational and conservative group of institutions -- the Bush Administration's own intelligence agencies -- collectively comes to the conclusion that global warming poses a major threat to national security. It's the sort of news that makes you worry about certain peoples' heads exploding...

Smart car, smart move, smart guy (?)

A diverse trio of items caught my eye in the last 24 hours.

First there's the crash-test report on the tiny Smart Car, which turns out to be one of the safest subcompacts on the road. It still looks a little iffy for long rides on the interstate, but for city driving -- not to mention parking -- this high-mileage, low-emission gadget on wheels is the wave of the future. Just ask all the Europeans who've been using them for years in Rome, Paris and Frankfurt.

Next up, the man who saved the Giants is about to step down. Peter Magowan has done a lot of irritating and flat-out stupid things in the last decade -- anyone want a slightly used $18 million a year pitcher? -- but in 1993, he and his partners pulled off what felt like a miracle, buying a franchise that was set to move to Florida and keeping baseball in San Francisco. Thanks for that.

And finally, R. Kelly once said "I Believe I Can Fly" -- but this guy actually can. No, really, 186 MPH with a rocket strapped to his back. Completely nuts. (Side note: is it just me, or did anyone else start humming the Jetsons theme song while watching this?)

Good news and bad news

Good news first. After our recent decade-long bender of snapping up gargantuan gas-hog SUVs, Americans seem to have woken up to the fact that they've been hoodwinked by an auto industry that doesn't give a damn about anything beyond next quarter's balance sheet. Bigger doesn't look so much better anymore when gas is $4 a gallon and the polar ice caps are melting before our eyes. It's sad that it took the combination of the highest gas prices in history and overwhelming evidence of climate change to shock American consumers into changing their behavior, but whatever it takes.

As for the Smart Car, we saw a ton of them on a trip to Europe in 2003. And while I don't expect you'll be seeing many of them on the interstate, for urban environments they're an excellent option -- great gas mileage, highly maneuverable and able to squeeze into a parking space half the size of a Ford Expedition.

The bad news is, my baseball team is threatening to set a record for futility, in more ways than one. Having failed utterly to remake their roster over the winter, saddled with aging, mediocre overpaid free agents, and beset by injuries, the Giants have decided the solution to their problems lies in erasing every vestige of the man who almost single-handedly kept the franchise afloat for the last fifteen years. You know my feelings about Barry Bonds are about as mixed as mixed can be, but for Giants' ownership to suddenly disavow the man who kept the fans coming year after year to buy overpriced food and sit in overpriced seats to watch an underperforming team -- well, it's pretty much the definition of hypocrisy. Add that to what's looking like a sure-thing 100-loss season (110, anybody?), and you've got a recipe for a loooooong year at the ballpark. Or rather, not there.