Strange days indeed

Today's headlines feel like an episode of "News of the Weird," even when they aren't trying to be. First, for the geek squad we'll include the thinnest notebook ever. (Too thin for a CD drive? Hmm...) Then we move to the cops pepper-spraying and arresting unruly sports fans... at a tennis match. And of course we also had the Dems struggling to play nice, while the Reeps fell into complete disarray. Meanwhile, California voters may be grouchy about any number of things, but they still love their celebrity guv. In the Dept. of Strange Bedfellows, we find the ACLU leaping to the defense of Sen. Larry Craig. And finally, it seems the problems we are experiencing with health care for humans are merely the tip of the iceberg.

Ah, but then there's the news you really care about (if you live in my household, anyway). Unfortunately, Sam Warburg's terrific run at the Australian Open came to an end yesterday as he fell 6-4, 7-6(4), 6-2 in a hard-fought match with the impressive Jo-Wilfried Tsonga. Regardless, Sam's four straight wins will give him a nice bump in next week's rankings and a nice check to take home. A great way to start 2008!

Monday news digest

Don't you just love it when one group of obscenely rich people sues another group of obscenely rich people in hopes of vaulting both sets of attorneys into their clients' income brackets? If so, you'll love reading about the Red Hot Chili Peppers suing Showtime. Sample wiseguy comment: “Now, if only the Scottish could sue Anthony Kiedis over the kilt thing.”

Longtime Mississippi Senator and “Thurmond For President” bumper-sticker purchaser Trent Lott is retiring to “pursue other opportunities.” I don’t remember seeing any openings for Grand Wizard advertised in the local classifieds, but maybe he meant other “other opportunities.” In any case, don’t let the door hit you etc.

Pakistan continues to simmer, and if you don’t think this matters, you’re not paying attention.

The writers’ strike also continues, but if you're jonesing for an emergency fix of late night talk show monologuery, try this.

News digest

Or should that be "news to digest"? I suppose not, since I don't have any weird food items this time around.

What I do have is the story of an anonymous California state worker who belongs in the Curmudgeon Hall of Fame's Picky Grammarian section -- hold a spot for me, would you?

Plus, this important news about why Santas in Sydney, Australia have been asked to change the way they greet customers. Could someone please send these folks a nice big bale of common sense? Yikes.